What is the best way to help adolescent and teenagers out of peer pressure?
Creating an atmosphere around us that makes the child believe we love them.
The truth is that identity and definition of an entity is enough to cause pressure, some children are born matured, the instincts in them is enough for them to be under pressure. It is natural for a child to be under pressure, parenting attitudes play a role, but the best way is to give the child Holy Ghost very early, if you want him to be a leader, a man with the Holy Ghost is a leader.
Leadership is within, it is normal for a leader to always lead, basically a child must be given the Holy Ghost, many homes plays around these thing, but it is a key thing. When a child has the Holy Ghost he will be bold.
Orientation is what makes people different, the Holy Ghost expresses himself at different level, and in different way. Spirit is a stronger influence than whatever you may have physically. Package the truth by the Spirit, and the child will express it.
A child with the Holy Ghost comes out moving without knowing what is moving him, the earth was made to be inhabited by Spirits, invite your child into prayer and pray for them. Do not get too busy with your environment, package the word of truth in various manner and give your children. No matter how much a child loves you, he will face some pressures in life he will keep to himself despite been close to them. The Holy Ghost will help such child even when you are not there to help including if the parent dies, the Spirit will still be available to teach such child.
A child is from infancy to adolescent, God has what is needed to train a child, but sometimes because of our earthly wisdom we forget some things. There is no way you can remove the expression of adolescence from a child, if you manage to take some expression away they will find a parallel for it.
The adolescent stage is a period where everything taste at its best, it is an experimental stage, where a child experiments with matters of life and that’s why in some cultures, there are rites done to initiate a child into the adolescent stage.
The first agent of socialization is the home, followed by school, the church is also an agent of socialisation, acting as a home, a school, a community and a society. The church encompass all agents of socialization in her. The place of the Spirit and the place of God cannot be over emphasized. There are behaviours found among the children of believers that are not found in the child of unbelievers, this is because the devil also assault believer’s children too.
The bible said “train a child in the way it should go”. There is an “us” consent and there is “ours” consent, as a parent you must endeavour to integrate your family into the church community through the local assembly. You cannot hit a soft point all by yourself, you need someone else to hit that soft point, you cannot see all that is needed by yourself to train your children you need assistance, all answer is in God, and he gave all answers through the bible and the Holy Ghost. God has a manual for training a child through the Spirit, other things can come in later, but the first is to integrate a child into a local assembly. It is not just what you are doing in your family, the church as a whole body of Christ has a general mandate.
One of problem children face is isolation from adults, at school, the majority of teachers are Student teachers meaning that teenagers spend most time with their peers than with adults. Children often believe their teachers more than their parents. Children learn many things from the school and that is why there will always be pressure on them to experiment and look for answers, but integrating them into the church will give access to people who will be involved in training them. We should take away the “my child” mentality, because parents are care takers, when you have that in mind, you won’t give your children opportunities they shouldn’t have.
To a soul that is hungry, everything is sweet, it is only a full soul that desire honey, train a child in the way he should go, not only through spanking but other ways. Learn the world of your child for their sake. Don’t spare your child, insist they do what they should do. Allow your child to participate in your activities like helping you get water while you wash the car, helping in the kitchen etc., this will help develop a sense of responsibility in them. Let them go through some rigor so that they’ll know life is not bread and butter, and hence it will help them to be able to take charge of responsibilities on their own, also build their sense of judgement regarding certain matters.
Recognise a bad identity in you that is reflecting as a trait in your child, find a way to deal with it, and do not say the child looks like you. A child who does not respect their mother will not respect other women outside, what you do should not be only in words, it should be accompanied with actions.
Children are not that innocent, when your husband insists on some things agree with him, your children cannot love you more than your husband, neither should you love your children more than your husband, do a lot to help the child to respect others before they go out a disgrace you. There is a lot to do concerning children not only in your biological children, but other children around you.
Rebellious parent will raise rebellious children, God is not afraid of the teenager’s age, God placed those things inside them, don’t give up on them because of their nature, learn about their nature. Embrace them, don’t separate them. There must be a convergence between the youths and the adults, the early church didn’t have youths and children church, it is a single church. There must not be a gap between the young and the adults. We don’t want hierarchy that will lead to imprisonment of expression, the pastor should not see himself as higher than the children, he should be there in all their programmes, not just to participate, but to supervise them. Life is dynamic and the church should be like that.
There is nothing hidden in the body of the youths and the adults, it the same, one of our problem is that we raise a false estate and that cannot save us. Most of us sitting here today asked questions from our parent regarding why things are done the way they are, the same way our children are asking us why some things are the way they are, so we should not hide some things from them thinking they would not understand.
Is it every church that has the word of truth as an instrument?.
Every church ought to be build on the foundation of the word of truth, but the unfortunate thing is that every church is not, because most churches are born out of reactions. Most pastors establish church because they were not happy with the way things are in their former church not because God called them into ministry. Many people are not aware about this, they just find themselves there. Without enough light, enough waiting, you’ll end up in error. There are certain reasons God will not invade an assembly with light, one of them is if they started it in rebellion.
In the New Testament, light is transferred from people to people, there are people you should be under till there is a transfer of the spirit from them to you so if you refused to stay under their authority and you go out and started an assembly, it will end up drying off.
Most churches are established because of offering, the Lord know the churches that are his. Iniquity is not committing sin, by erring. But God will judge the man who propagate the truth in error, though men may be saved by such assembly, church is not just church there are ways God has ordained it to be.
It is not difficult to get large assembly, all you need do is to make people see the loopholes of the current churches and correct them in your own and their members will come running to yours. Some pastors believe that it is only their church that is good this is not true, there are things that God will put on hold to humble the heart of the set man (Church Leader).
(John 1:1) The word was with God, the word himself is God, how wide is God, just how deep is God no one knows, but what he has done through the gospel is to convey Himself to us in measures and give to the churches. The word of truth, God is truth, the father is Truth, the Holy Ghost is truth, and the word of these three personalities is being communicated to the churches. There are churches of new birth, that cannot be taken away, it is important but God does not want the church to remain in a place.
The problem we have today is the arrangements of the church, some churches keep children busy with activities thinking the truth is not yet for these children, since they have not grown to the point of understanding the truth. It is our job to make the children understand that the world of truth because it is meant for everyone not the adults alone, the gospel is to save us and our household.
There are many times you change your mind because of the light that has visited you, when light comes to you and you believe in light, it is remission of sin. Our inadequacies must be shown to us for us to see where we are and how we need to keep pressing on, for if we stop along the way we will not get there. There should not be anything added to the gospel to make it bulky, motivational talks should not be added to the gospel.
There are some truth of God’s word that we can receive easily, we have to get to meat, strong meat and even to bones. It is not easy for our mind to understand the gospel, some minsters add their own to the gospel because they do not have access to some things.
The occult members take their first born to their meetings so that when they die the child replaces them, same way we must initiate our children into this. In the past people put the truth in bible schools, the church does not need a bible school to teach the truth, we should teach everything in the church, the church is not raise pastors but to raise the fullness of God in man.